Genie in a Bottle

I just watched a weird advert.

Two ads, actually. The first was an ad for ‘water’ that is supposed to solve all problems. No, not the regular water problem of thirst, but specific annoyances, of people owing you money and refusing to pay, and other possibilities within that region. It looks like what you do is write your problem on paper, dribble some of the water on the folded paper, give it a few days, and your problem will be solved. The person that owes you will pay. That person telling lies against you will stop. This magic water comes in a box with a picture of a cross on one side and another of a ‘man of God,’ and ‘Jesus’ was mentioned a number of times, so I figure it’s supposed to be Christian.

Another had to follow it. It was another ‘man of God,’ this time advertising his church, his powers. In essence, he was a bundle of miracles. He could solve every known problem on earth. Want a promotion? He’s your guy. And, he cures AIDS which has been given you by the enemy. I have a hard time understanding that bit. I mean, how does the enemy give you AIDS? It’s not like AIDS is a soluble disc they can slip into your drink when you’re not looking. Unless you had a blood transfusion done by careless medical persons, or it was a mother-child transmission, the other ways of getting infected are down to you. If you share blades with people, it’s your fault if you get AIDS, not the enemy’s. If you have unprotected sex and get AIDS, that is completely your own fault. People should start taking more credit for their woes and stop blaming the enemy.

Plus, this ‘man of God,’ among a host of other capabilities, can, if you are in any kind of police trouble and have a case pending, render it—in his words—‘a foolish case.’ My father took the words right out of my mouth when he said, ‘So if you’re guilty you’ll go scot-free?’ I could only nod. Disgust had my tongue clinging to the roof of my mouth.

And not once in this man’s self-congratulatory gush did he talk about Jesus’s power over sin, or redemption. It was never ‘Come and listen to the word of God, and be changed.’ It was all, miracles, miracles, miracles, just like the one before it.

I can’t blame them. People who profess to be Christians today are ever so hungry for miracles. How desperate can we get? How stupid can we get? Miracles are not sold in bottles. I am out of my depth trying to grasp that people in the twenty-first century where there’s a supposed enlightenment believe things as unbelievable as that. Jesus never sold miracles in bottles. And, yes, Jesus was a man of miracles, but what happened to the core of his ministry? The words part? Why are we suddenly missing the bigger picture here? Why are we chasing miracles instead of working out our salvation in fear and trembling, getting right with God?

Don’t get me wrong. Everyone needs a miracle once in a while. But these men—like many other ‘preachers’ in our day—capitalizing on our lust for miracles, are only attacking symptoms. They’re not giving us the cure, they’re giving us the paint to gloss over the ailment.

For example…I’ll use a made up name, Axabyhuejj. (If you’re Ukrainian or Polish and this is your name…hey, you’re famous.) Axabyhuejj does something against the Lord’s word, like commit murder or adultery or slander. And then Axabyhuejj’s business starts to suffer. She visits this ‘man of God,’ and Mr. Miracles gets her business back on track. Does not tell her it is because of this evil she did that her business failed in the first place. But who cares? Her business is alive again. And then things start to go wrong in her family. She goes back. He helps her again. And she keeps getting problems and he keeps coming to her rescue…is the picture clear? (It better be.)

But he’ll never tell Axabyhuejj it’s because she did something God was not pleased with, that she is reaping what she planted. That will run him out of business. That won’t make him as famous as if he breathed on Axabyhuejj and she fell, and a call suddenly came through that the man who was threatening to send her to the police for stealing his money had dropped the case. That would minimize the need for him and make Axabyhuejj take her Bible again, return to the God that she turned from.

In none of the teachings of our Lord did He mention that you dribble water over a problem and you literally wash it away. What He did say, was that if you obeyed His commands, and asked anything in His name, and believed it, you would get it. Unfortunately, that seems too basic for us, too prosaic. We want something showier. I may be bursting your bubble here, but Christianity is not about magic potions. It’s about communion with God. There’s no replacing Jesus with a bottle of liquid, or some prophet. Can we just exercise our faith, and stop being this gullible and foolish? If you’re that desperate for a breakthrough, and everyone is, at some point, why don’t you pray? Yourself? Don’t be making supposed men of God rich in this time people complain of no money.

You are so much smarter than this.